There's our personal goals (must be more loving towards my partner)… there's our work or business goals (must make more cash doing less work)… and there's our "sort it out" goals (must work out how to do that thing and not put it off any longer).
When we break down each of those goals what we find is another 8 to 10 sub-goals which, even if you only have three main goals, your tally has suddenly ballooned to somewhere between 26 and 30 things to do. Before you know it, you're feeling overwhelmed and the most likely course of action is to say "Stuff this, it's all too hard. I'll just stay the same".
Yeah, I know that one…
I'm in the process of setting up my life coaching business which involves creating content for my website, working out how and where I will coach people, continuing with my studies, building a social media profile and writing this blog.
That's a big enough task without factoring in four days a week as a freelance editor, private coaching for authors, regular workouts and somehow squeezing in a social life.
It's a lot for one small person to do. Seems easier to stay in bed on a Saturday morning and just wait for it to all work itself out. Except I won't. Because I want to be an amazing Life Coach, and I want to earn a decent living, and I want to be fit and strong, and have fun with my friends.
What's a girl to do?
Well, lucky for me, my first coaching client had the answer! Yup, there I was listening to them and helping them work out how they could get all the things they needed to do done, and at the same time, I was having an internal BINGO! moment where I saw the answer to some of my own overwhelm! Goal Setting! Duh!
Isn't it great when life deals you a double hand like that!
My client's dilemma was that they have so many business streams they find themselves drifting without purpose, then feeding their inner guilt with the fact they aren't performing, which leads to a lack of motivation, which leads to procrastination, which leads to more guilt … and … well, you get the picture.
The outcome of our first session was great. My client found a way to fix one of their issues (schedule time to do task A), and also got to "park" the rest of their goals with their life coach (me). This gave them a sense of feeling instantly more free and able to perform task A, because tasks B through to Z were being held in a security storage with the knowledge that each box would be brought out at a time that is right for them.
Phew.
The beauty of parking some of your goals with a coach is that you know they will hold you accountable. It's not like filing them away in the attic of your own mind, where they swim around like drowning cats bobbing their heads up from under the water at regular intervals, letting you know they need your attention.
A life coach is akin to having a wardrobe assistant for your thoughts. We help you pull out the top seasonal items while simultaneously packing all your winter or summer wear into neatly folded drawers that we ship off to our own office until the weather changes and you're ready to wear them again.
Knowing that someone else is aware of your goals and is looking after them, frees up space in your conscious mind so that you can get on and deal with task A as a single goal, and not have to worry that its friends are also wanting assistance. When we have all our goals asking for equal attention it becomes too hard and that's where procrastination sets in.
Here's a good tip: if you ever find yourself procrastinating, bring someone else into the mix. It can be a friend or a family member or – best case scenario – a life coach. The beauty of having a coach work with you on your goals is that they will direct you in a motivating way that is genuinely helpful and authentic. Friends and family may worry that you are doing too much, (or not enough), and they might hold back on telling you the truth because they want to protect you. A life coach won't throw your problems in your face but they will present solutions to your issues in a pragmatic and realistic way.
It's a proven fact that the accumulation of unfinished tasks (such as unmet goals, plus overdue bills that haven't been paid, plus deciding where to send your kids to school, plus working out which flight to catch to go on holiday), cause as much anguish as deciding whether to put your mother into a nursing home.
A simple way to reduce the stress of unmet goals is to take one of them and break it down into smaller goals.
Part of the issue when you're in overwhelm is choosing the first goal to tackle, but my advice is: if you've been procrastinating for more than 3 months, just choose ANY goal. By starting a journey to somewhere, you'll soon find out what's involved which will lead to one of two scenarios:
1) You'll realise a different goal is more important because you can't complete Goal A until Goal B has been established.
2) You'll find that you achieve one of your goals which will move you from procrastination to motivation and voila! the wheels are in motion and your other goals can be fished from the pond (one by one) and taught how to swim! Hurrah!
Start Now By Writing Down Your Goals
Make a list of your top 10 goals that you'd like to achieve in the next 12 months.Prioritise those goals further by marking any that you would like to achieve within 3 months, 6 months and 9 months. In a separate column, write down the reality of how long you think it will take to achieve those goals. (HINT: you've probably underestimated the timeframe, but that's OK). I like to give myself an extra 3 months on top of the timeframe I've initially set, which is what Stephen Covey (author of The Seven Habits of Highly Successful People) calls taking the ocean liner approach. (I'll write a blog on that soon).
Once you do this you will have 4 x 3-month timeframes and four or more goals. Start with the goal that is most pressing (in the 3-month timeframe), and just do at least one thing today that will get you closer to that goal. Then, schedule another task for the following day that will get you another day closer to reaching your goal. The tasks needn't be huge things (although they can be), but even doing one small thing, will increase your sense of satisfaction which will trigger the reward system in your brain, which will lead to increased motivation and a greater sense that you can achieve anything you want.
You can do all this on your own. It's a really valuable exercise and will help raise you from the feeling of drowning to a space where you have increased clarity and a belief in your own ability.
Having a life coach ups the ante even further. A life coach will listen while you figure out what to do first, and they'll provide you with new insights that you might not reach on your own. They can present you with tools to help you get the job done and they'll make you accountable for reaching those goals. If you say you're going to something by Monday, they'll check in with you and see how you're going. There'll be no judgement if you haven't done the task, but when you know someone's watching, it really prompts you to do the work.
Goals are dreams and goal setting is taking a step towards the life you dream of. Begin today by sorting out what's the most important thing for you right now and choose something you can do today to make that dream more real. For me, it was scheduling in study blocks plus time for my workouts plus time to write my web content and times when I am free to see clients.
By clearing space in my diary I have created a greater sense of freedom and it only took half an hour to create my new schedule (all I have to do now is stick to it). Once you write down your goals and begin ticking them off your list, you'll know in your heart that you're on a path to becoming the very best version of YOU.
By clearing space in my diary I have created a greater sense of freedom and it only took half an hour to create my new schedule (all I have to do now is stick to it). Once you write down your goals and begin ticking them off your list, you'll know in your heart that you're on a path to becoming the very best version of YOU.
And I dunno about you, but that gets me very excited!
Dream big and be your best.
I believe in you!
I believe in you!
#lovelife #lifecoaching #goalsetting #infinitepossibilites #Ibelieveinyou #success #dreambig
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